Tips on how to travel as a couple

I was so excited about travelling with Denver, I mean who wouldn't want to spend so much time with their respective partners. NEVER did I realise how challenging it would be. We had been a couple and living together for just over 5 years when we embarked on our 6 month trip around South East Asia.

You think you know everything about a person when you live with them for so long but you forget that you have your own lives, a job, socialising with friends, your own hobbies that you have lots to talk about when you do see each other. There could be weeks where we would see each other 3 out of 5 working evenings and one day at the weekend.

Travelling is literally living inside each others pockets pretty much every minute of every single day. The first few weeks was an adjustment period and a real eye opener. We really struggled, arguing over silly things like the right way to go, the bus we should catch, where we should eat. It sounds ridiculous however I believe travelling causes your senses to go in to overload - all the new things that you need to adapt to, the hot weather, the smells, the sounds, the lack of English in some parts. All of this cultural change can leave you slightly on edge and unfortunately who better to take it out on than your nearest and dearest.

We spoke to many couples along the way who said that it is perfectly normal to have these petty quarrels for the first while however it does pass and gets a lot easier once you get used to your new way of life and start to learn how to be with each other. It can be a real test on your relationship and many people say that travelling together can make you or break you but I am happy to say we made it and came out the other side knowing pretty much all the habits and quirks that each other has.

1. Always listen - learn to make decisions together and the art of compromise

There are two of you who have decided to on this journey therefore it is important that you respect each other and listen to both of your needs. You might want to see a temple and they might want to go to the beach. There are ways and means to get what you both want, you just have to work out a plan that suits all parties. Go early in the morning to the temple, then make time for the beach in the afternoon. It can sound like a small task but sometimes you may not want to do what they want however making an effort for them is important and if you both look after each others needs then it will keep everyone happy.

2. Meet People

It is always nice to see and do things together so you have those memories forever however sometimes it is wise to make an effort to meet new people on your travels. This can help take the pressure off both of you having to entertain each other at all times. Meeting people can be really easy to do when you stay in hostels or large home stays.

Travellers all have a lot in common and it is the usual ice breakers "Where are you from?", "Where have you been already?", "Where to next?" which make it extremely easy to start a conversation and get to know people. We met some really amazing backpackers along the way who made our time so enjoyable. That's the incredible thing about travelling, it is not just for one type of person, it is for every type of person.

It also can be a great conversation initiator for you and your partner. As you do the same things together every day, often there is not a massive amount to talk about at the end of it so things like "Did you know that so and so is taking a break from studying to be a doctor?", "What did you think of so and so?". It is perfectly fine to have moments of complete peace and quiet too!

Meeting new people at our home stay

Meeting new people in hostels

3. Learn to deal with their annoying habits

Everyone on this earth has annoying habits whether they think so or not. None more so than that person you are with day in, day out. It can be the most trivial of things such as making a mess of the room or when they can see you immersed in a book and expect a long conversation. These things can really irk you and set the day off on the wrong foot but you just have to learn to deal with them and accept that you have your own annoying habits that they are trying to put up with too so a bit of leeway is always encouraged on both sides. Communicating these annoyances to your partner can make them aware of something they perhaps had no idea that affected you so always share with them.

4. Take a break from each other

There is absolutely no harm in recognising that you may need a few minutes/hours alone. It doesn't matter if it is with a family member, a close friend or your partner, everyone enjoys time to themselves and it shouldn't be deemed as insulting to the other person. There were many days on our travels where I just wanted to read in a cafe while Denver would go off and find something else to do. The freedom is nice and you appreciate your time together more when you have a little while apart.

5. Make certain days / nights a date

When you are travelling, you have 3 meals a day together and enjoy lots of amazing experiences together so how do you ensure you have special 'dates'. Every now and again splurge on nicer accommodation, arrange a couples massage or go to the movies. It is important that you recognise that although you are travelling together and spending all your time with one another, there still needs to be special appreciation moments. One of my most memorable days was in Battambang, Cambodia. Without my realising, Denver had researched and planned a whole day out for us from start to finish. There was nothing particularly out of the ordinary planned however he just wanted to make an ordinary day special for me. Small things like this are a great way to show the importance of the relationship.

5. Try and laugh no matter the situation

There are some days when travelling can be a real test due to all sorts of reasons. One of our most trying days was leaving Thailand heading to our next stop, Cambodia. We researched how to go about this and and found out we had to get to the Poipet border. We were currently in Trat which is in the eastern part of Thailand.

We got to the main bus station, where no one spoke anything but Thai. We finally deciphered from someone with very broken English that we needed to get to Chanthaburi to get the connecting bus to Poipet. We bought our tickets and then arrived at Chanthaburi only to be told that we needed to go back to Trat, that the only bus to Poipet was from there.

For some reason we had no thai sim cards (a lesson we learnt after this) and there was no wifi so we couldn't look anything up. Slightly disheartened, we hopped on another bus and took the hour long journey back to Trat. We were starting to reach boiling point as it was getting on in the day and we didn't want to get to Cambodia too late.

We finally found an English speaking couple who told us that there are no buses to the border from Trat that we needed to get the Aranyaprathet bus from Chanthaburi station that will bring you to the border in 3 hours. We couldn't believe this was happening but finally with some solid information that is exactly what we did. We were so angry, got back to Chanthaburi once more, found the correct bus sat down then absolutely wet ourselves with laughter for a solid 10 minutes. To be able to handle a situation like that and come out laughing was such a massive thing for us as we usually don't handle things like that well. All you can do is laugh and hope it never happens again.

Most importantly:

HAVE FUN

You didn't make this life changing decision to go travelling so that you could only slightly enjoy yourself. It is all about learning new things, experiencing new cultures, encountering new people and making memories that will last a lifetime. Who better than to do this with the person you want to be with. It is one of the biggest bonding experiments of my life and I can't wait to go on our next adventure together.

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